Attention App Developers! These Are The Apps That Kochi Needs Right Now

28 Sep 2016
Noel Alex
Features

We all remember when we were stranded after going somewhere and hoped for a call taxi that would be affordable and would ensure our safety and experience, Ola and Uber happened. We hoped for an app that would track all the restaurants and cafes in which all the details including menu and timings were provided and people could review it and Zomato happened.

Apps are what make our lives easier in 21st century and all cities have problems unique to it. Even if we may not remember it we’ve all come across situations in this city when we thought “Ugh I wish there was an app that could solve that”. Even though we are far from getting these apps, here are a few ideas for all the start-ups out here in Kochi- This is what the city needs right now people!

DheyKuzhi!

Don’t you just love it when you fall from a 2 wheeler after jumping a cute little pothole? Let me rephrase- don’t you just love to see someone fall from a 2 wheeler after jumping a cute little pothole? Well if you aren’t a sadist like me then I bet you would love an app to give you a kuzhi warning.

Presenting DheyKuzhi! An editable pothole directory which keeps track of all the potholes, broken slabs, or the lovely unintentional manholes that our city has to offer. It works with GPS to make loud warnings when such spots are nearby and you can set custom warning sounds like

‘SCENE CONTRA!’

‘DARK SCENE!’

Or even some of the classics ‘VELLAM!’

BEVCO presents Bevvile Q

The must have app for those of you who frequent/rely/live on the beverages. This app showcases many useful features like dry-day reminders, GPS based analysis of the beverage shop with the least queue, instant hartal push-notifications and best queue timings for all beverages.

There is also a tips and tricks section on the proper ethics to cut a queue, how to properly bribe the beverage official, how to ask someone to get your liquor without getting beaten up, secretly hidden (not for long) entrances and much more!

Bevvile Q- Because we are Mallu and we hate Q

‘EnneKadikkalle!’

- the world’s most simple and powerful mosquito repelling app

The KIMS research centre has made some serious breakthroughs in the study of mosquito repellents. They have now partnered with ‘VerutheOruApp’ developers to bring you this one of a kind mosquito repelling app. The Kochi Institute of Mosquito Studies (KIMS) proudly present ‘EnneKadikkalle’.

Students at the KIMS research centre have revealed that mosquitoes have evolved along with humans and are now attracted to free wifi.

The app works on the principle of forcefully turning on the hotspot of the person sitting next to you, so free internet for you and all the mosquitoes for him!

‘PoovalanAlert’ the Vayanokki app

Although this app has sparked widespread controversy on social media, the girls of Kochi are loving it. Introducing ‘PoovalanAlert’ - an app to redflag the vayanokkis and eve teasers of the city.

If a girl suspects that a guy has been giving her a little too much eye contact she can take a photo and send it to the ‘PoovalanAlert’ database. If the same guy has come up in the database for more than 5 instances the following will take place

FB account will be hacked and the cover pic and status of that person will read

‘Don’t come near me,

I am a Vayanokki’

The same will be reflected on Tinder and push notifications of ‘Don’t come near me, I am a Vayanokki’ will be sent to all of his contacts on any social media
When this person is in the area of any ‘PoovalanAlert’ app user, they will receive an instant ‘Odikko’ reminder and the ringtone ‘Don’t come near me, I am a Vayanokki’ will automatically be played from the Vayanokki’s phone in max volume

‘KidilanThirichadi’

- the Mallu Comeback Generator app

Something that we keralites take pride in is roasting our friends. It doesn’t matter what the situation, we constantly feel the urge to tease our fellow mate and make them feel the burn so bad, that they wish they had worn sunblock that day.

What we take even more pride in is our ability to come up with face melting comebacks.

For those of you who have trouble with this, this app is the right arsenal for you.

‘KidilanThirachadi’ - the Mallu Comeback Generator

-The creators understand the value of timely delivery of your comeback, it uses voice to record conversation so as to generate instant comebacks so you can save the embarrassment of delivering the joke after the moment has passed

-Adult jokes and Malayalam Swear Database available only to premium users and users that are 18 and above

-An info section is also available on various topics like how to recover from a bad burn, how to recover from a bad comeback, the correct body language to deliver comebacks and how to retreat from a bad burn in the most respectful way.

- An extra addition- Stay Ahead of the Times, Stay Ahead of the Trolls with ‘InnatheTrollVishayam’. Make sure you never feel left out from your gang because you didn’t catch the latest trolls they keep talking about and end up not being able to keep up with troll dictated cues?
Trolls will be categorized under entertainment, sports, politics and many more- much like any other news app, but way more fun and useless. They even have the option of giving you SMS notifications for trolls that are going viral.

Other apps worth mentioning-

‘AToiletNearMe’- Where to go, when you really need to go

Fastest-way-to-Lulu– Just because Lulu is the center of our Kochiverse

‘EnteKudaEvide’ - Attach a tracker to your umbrella and keep track of it via your phone

Kochi Slang Decoder-Because sometimes you really need a translator to understand what we mean buddy

All you app developers who were looking for ideas for your next project, you are welcome!

If you know if any bizzare and absolutely fantastic and legen...wait for it...dary apps, do drop us a line at [email protected] or ping us on social media @WtzupKochi

Text: Noel Alex and Fathima Abdul Kader

Creatives- Shahla Rahman